I was sharing some struggles over the phone with my sister-in-law. When I had poured them out, there was a little pause.
And then she asked, "You know you're pretty amazing, right?"
It almost brought tears to my eyes (and I'm not a very emotionally demonstrative person), and my response was heartfelt. "People keep telling me that. It's just hard for me to believe it." And I added with a wry chuckle, "You are your own worst critic, you know."
It's true. We are. But do we have to accept that? Are we really supposed to beat ourselves down about our failures?
I'm not talking about building up our own ego. The Bible speaks strongly about pride, putting others above ourselves, etc. But when we are continually beating ourselves up about who we are (or aren't), what we're doing (or not doing), and the failure to meet expectations (most often placed on us by we ourselves), is that truly healthy for us spiritually? Is it what God wants of us?
There's a difference between humility and being negative about ourselves. James 4:10 says, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” That doesn't sound like God wants us to be beaten down, does it? When we're humble, God lifts us up.
Check out this quote by Adrian Rogers about this very subject. It hits home.
"Have you ever wondered what humility is all about? True humility is not thinking negatively about yourself. It is agreeing with what God says about you. The grace of God will exalt a person without inflating him and humble a person without debasing him. I am what I am because of Christ. In this life, you are not going to be sinless, but as you deal with sin in your life, you can come closer to being free from sin. Sinless? No. Blameless? Yes. As you confess and stay prayed up, you can be blameless."
AMEN. He explains it way better than I could, so I won't even try to add to that.
And this brings me to the real point of this post. (Sorry for the long introductory rabbit trail...)
You know all those modern quotes about loving ourselves, taking care of ourselves, etc.? I'm not saying they're entirely true, but they do have a point... of a sort. Their focus is just so wrong. No, we are not to be selfish and focus only on ourselves. Yes, we need to be more positive about ourselves sometimes. But we have to take it into perspective. We aren't to love ourselves above others. We aren't to love our natural, fleshly selfish self. We are to love who Christ has made us to be, yes. We are to love Christ in us.
We all know that true love isn't a feeling but a choice, right? But we all--especially me--allow our emotions to dictate how we feel instead of the facts of God's Word. When we don't *feel* loved by God, when we don't *feel* like we're anything special, when we don't *feel* that God is working in us... I know that I tend to fall apart in those times. When I'm depending on my emotions instead of embracing the facts of God's Word, I get in trouble.
And I know the truth. I know that God loves me, that He has saved me and covered me in His righteousness, that He views me as someone really special to Him. But I allow my emotions to take over: fear, guilt, shame, and doubt.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)
Oh, man. I have experienced the torment of fear more times than I can count. I am a very fearful person. And most of the time, it's the fear that leads to the other emotions. I'm scared that I'm not doing enough or being enough. Then I feel guilty that I don't do more and be more.
Satan wants to keep us in a state of guilt and confusion about our spiritual state. He doesn't want us to live in the joy of our salvation. He doesn't want us to rejoice in the Lord. He doesn't want us to love who we are in Christ. He wants to keep us in a state of mind that will rob us of a close relationship with Christ and a heart of gratitude. If he can keep us doubting and fearful and ridden with guilt, he is keeping us right where he wants us.
The good news? God doesn't want us there. He wants us in the exact opposite place. He wants us to live in His joy, His love, His mercy, His grace, and His victory.
Guilt that doesn't lead us to a place of change, that just keeps weighing down on us and spinning us in circles, isn't the kind of guilt that God places on us when He convicts us. God gives us a "godly sorrow" (2 Corinthians 7:10), a conviction that leads us to a place of repentance and faith. Any other kind of guilt isn't right. Guilt over a sin that is already pardoned, guilt over something that God has promised us victory in, is not godly sorrow. It shows faithlessness and it doesn't please God.
All of that to say, we shouldn't feel guilty over something that God has already given us the victory over. We are to embrace our victory in Christ instead of wallowing in undue guilt. Don't you remember that Psalm 103:12 says that God removes our transgressions as far as the east is from the west? If you've ever really thought about it, that's an impossible distance. It just keeps going and going and going, because there's no end point. God forgets the sins that we have repented of to Him. He has forgiven and forgotten--why should we keep bringing it to mind?
And it's hard. I know. But we have to remember: our victory is not found in what we have done. It's found in who Christ is. And Christ is calling to us to lay aside our burden and embrace His victory, resting in Him (Matthew 11:28-30).
I don't know about you, but always finding fault with myself isn't very restful. Believe me, I get upset with myself over and over and over again. But I have to remind myself: if I have repented of my sins, if I have confessed them to God and asked Him to forgive them, He has. I have to embrace that fact and trust Him. I have to change my mindset from who I was to what Jesus has done in me.
Because I'm not who I was. Christ has made me into a new creature, and every single thing that I learn about it is something to love. It's a growing thing. The more that we taste the goodness of God, the more we desire it. The more that we desire it and learn from His Word, the more we grow in His knowledge. And the more we learn of Him, the more we love Him.
So are you insecure about who you are in Christ? Learn more of Him. Read and study His Word. Pray and ask Him for help. Because the more you know who you are in Christ, the more you'll love who you are in Him.
I said in the newsletter this week that it's amazing how God puts things into your path to help you learn a certain lesson He's teaching you. Lately, He's really been teaching me about just this subject: my identity in Christ. I'm not a confident person.
Anyway, I was spending a couple days with my oldest sister in Brandon after Christmas. We were hitting some Christmas sales, and while I was waiting for her at Ross, I picked up a little devotional book. I read a few devotions and they looked really good, so I went ahead and bought it. I was really expecting to get a few days into it and find something I disagreed with. So far, so good, though! I've been really encouraged by this little book (find it here). (Disclaimer: there are a few - in my opinion - adult comments in some of the devotions.)
Yesterday I was texting one of my friends about our identity in Christ, and then a few minutes later when I was doing my devotions, the day's devotion really stood out to me. It fit so perfectly with what we were talking about, and it's too good not to share. It pretty much sums up what I've been trying to say in my very scattered and rambling post today. :)
"Self-image is a common struggle among people of all shapes and sizes. Christian circles today often push back against this thought by emphasizing how treasured and wonderful we are to the Father. While true, taking the self-worth in without any teaching on the majesty of God is like eating hot sauce while ditching a good meal. The meal is wonderful by itself, while hot sauce enhances the flavor. Hot sauce by itself is not filling or satisfying, and your stomach will not thank you.
"Christian, you are beloved of God. However, God is awe-inspiring and majestic. He is creator and master of the universe, holy and righteous. We need to turn our eyes first upwards, to our heavenly Father in awe, instead of grasping inwardly for self-worth. The solution to insecurities of self is security in the proper holder, and that is in God. Lift your eyes and find the goodness in God. Self-forgetful worship is a healthy habit. Christ in us is our hope. Spend time today finding awe in God and thanking Him for being who He is."
So true, right?
And another quote that really stood out to me was from a book that one of my sisters gave me called "You're Already Amazing" by Holley Gerth (find here). I'm going to close with this quote, because it wraps everything up perfectly.
"The goal is not perfection. It's simply to be in an intimate relationship with Christ each day, fully embrace who He created us to be, and seek to fulfill the purpose He has for us. He is our greatest strength--and the One who enables us to live out all the other strengths He's placed within us."
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